Manning Up the Right Way

This came from a second discussion arising from the same University of Man post about a female FB conversation. Dessox is a 26 year old guy that wants to get married but is disgusted with the current state of women. He asked the above question.

Deti’s answer:

If you don’t mind an old married man chiming in:

Dessox, the problem you are describing is that men have softened up and largely become feminized versions of themselves because they are scared to death of offending their woman. They live under a constant implicit threat that their woman will turn off the sex spigot and leave them for another man.

Women are innately able to sense weakness in a man, and can sniff out manginas and white knights from a mile away. Women have also become more masculinized. Don’t believe me? Go sit at your local mall. Know what you’ll see?

Women leading around their husbands or BFs. Sloppily dressed, fat, deliberately unattractive women in sweatpants and flipflops. Women with beerguts (I. Kid. You. Not. Gross as hell, man.) Women who are 30, 50, 60 pounds and up overweight, scarfing down KFC like there’s no tomorrow. Women berating their husbands and kids — in public, while said husbands and kids cower in corners.

Men who follow their wives or GFs around like lost puppies, asking for permission to do anything and everything. Men who can’t even make a decision on when to eat lunch. Men who stand there and tolerate the absolute nastiest disrespect in public from their women.

The way to fix this is for men to be men, and stop putting up with women’s shit. Just stop. Tell your girl you’re sick of it, and you won’t tolerate it anymore. Whatever it is. If she walks, let her walk.

[Girl’s name], this is BS. You treat me like shit and disrespect me in public. I’m not putting up with one more ounce of it. I’m done. Things are going to change in this[relationship][marriage], and I mean right now. I don’t intend to stay one more second in this relationship putting up with your crappy behavior. If that means it’s over, then it’s over.

And one of three things will happen within 24 hours.

  1. The bitchiness dissipates, like fog on a sunny morning.
  2. She leaves, because being a bitch is more important to her than you are.
  3. You leave, because your integrity and peace is more important than staying with a bitch.

I really believe turning the tide on this just requires a man to say “No more”.

And if we’re going to do this, we have to be prepared to walk away from a relationship or a marriage where we’re not getting what we want and need. We have to be ready to cut her loose. We have to be ready for her pouting and turning off sex for a (very short) time. We have to be prepared to simply end things if they don’t turn around.

Here’s another few things that are turning this around, Dessox:

  1. You want to sex up sluts? I don’t personally agree with it, but if that’s your thing, have at it till the moon turns green. But don’t invest in them, don’t commit to them, don’t spend fortunes on them, and don’t marry them.
  2. Don’t give any woman any more respect than she gives herself.
  3. Don’t invest or commit until you’re satisfied she really likes you. A “first date” is not dinner at a fancy restaurant with appetizer and wine. Don’t go all in on a woman.
  4. Gauge her interest from the outset.
    a. Escalate physically. Push hard for physical intimacy. Go as far as she will let you.
    b. Sharply limit the investment you make. Limit the amount of time, money and resources you spend. End dates first. Hang out at your place or hers with a video. Do this until she proves herself interested in you AND worthy of your investment.

If you are being continually rebuffed, or she insists on expensive dinners or entertainment — bail out. She’s just not that into you, or she’s a status whore or entitlement princess looking to use you.

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2 Responses to Manning Up the Right Way

  1. Pingback: Linkage Is Good For You.6-24-12 | Society of Amateur Gentlemen

  2. Randy says:

    #2/3/4 are awesome tips. I would definitely listen to that.

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