Some more nuggets mined from Dalrock’s post What Do HUSies Want (Not linked because I don’t want to pollute Dalrock’s blog with trackbacks. If you want to follow the entire conversation pick up the link from When A Woman LJBF’s You)
Start running some game. What kind of game tactics will depend much on what you feel needs to be addressed or modified about your relationship. The best kind of game to start with is simply to start eliminating beta behaviors.
- Say “I love you” a little less.
- Don’t say things like “I can’t live without you” or “Do you love me?”
- Eliminate supplication.
- Ask less, tell more.
- Suggest less, direct more.
- Do not ask for permission for things like buying a new pair of shoes or something else you might need. Just tell her you are going to do it, and then do it.
David Collard added a few of his own tips into conversation:
– Interrupt her (sometimes)
– Ignore her (sometimes).
– If she becomes emotional, stay calm.
– If she becomes emotional, laugh at her.
– Call her “sexist” names.
– Objectify her.
– Make chauvinistic remarks.
– Pretty much do the exact opposite of what marriage advice articles suggest.
– Don’t buy her flowers, unless you really feel like it.
– If she asks what you are getting her for Valentine’s Day, say something like, “Nothing, but I am looking forward to you doing a pole dance for me”.
– Patronise her.
– Talk down to her.
The basic idea is to put her, not you, in a supplicatory position. She should feel that she is working for your approval. If you feel you are trying to please her all the time, you are doing it wrong.
A lot of the above comes fairly naturally to me. But I know it sounds strange. The thing is that no woman will tell you this. They don’t consciously know it. They think they want to be treated like a queen. They don’t really, not deep down where it counts.
Deti continues with:
David Collard has excellent suggestions to get you started. They are designed to show her that her shit tests aren’t going to throw you off. Your frame is one of “so you’re being a bitch. You can be a bitch alone. I won’t put up with it.” If she’s being bitchy, give her some pushback. Tell her you won’t put up with it. After you interrupt her, ignore her, and laugh at her stupid emotional outbursts, start really objectifying her. Grope her sometimes. Pinch her ass. Tell her to bend over again so you can really get a good look.
After this starts working and you start seeing results, then making it clear that what you want will now start becoming a priority, and that starts with sex. Don’t ever ask for sex. Tell her you are going to have sex, and she is going to give it to you. After that works, start telling her what to do for you and to you. Take charge of your sex life. Direct your sex life to what you want it to be.
In all this, remember that you can’t be afraid to offend her or make her mad. Roissy Commandment #16 is “Never be afraid to lose her”. Sure she’ll get mad sometimes. Sure she might withhold sex (for a few days). My new frame on this is: “Well, if you withhold sex, I’ll withhold commitment. And if withholding sex goes on long enough it’s marital abandonment and mental cruelty, both of which I consider grounds for divorce.”
I don’t know that withholding sex constitutes abandonment in the biblical sense. I do know that traditionally one of the husband’s benefits of marriage is regular sex at reasonable intervals, i.e. sex on command. If a man cannot even get regular sex from a wife because she willfully refuses to provide it, then why on earth should he marry or remain married to her?
A husband does not need to “earn” sex from a wife. By virtue of his position as her husband, in my view regular sexual contact with his wife is his right, and her concomitant obligation. If she had not wanted or agreed to that obligation, then she should not have taken it on by marrying.
If she is willfully refusing to meet her obligations, then he is justified in refusing to carry out his obligations of continued investment and commitment. She has abandoned her obligation to provide regular sex, and therefore has abandoned her husband, and has abandoned her marriage. That abandonment is sufficient, in my view, for the husband to withdraw his investment and commitment, and thus is cause for divorce.