Who is Deti?

Deti dropped by to provide this short bio of himself in the comments on the About page.

I suppose I should put up a little something about myself.

My influences are Dalrock, Badger, The Private Man, Danny from 504, Christian Men’s Defense Network, Vox Day, Brendan/Novaseeker, Yohami and Susan Walsh, though I’ll never be as intelligent or dedicated as any of them.

I’m a Christian.  I am a Nicene Creed-style believer.  I believe Game and patriarchy have their roots in the Bible.  I’m also a complementarian.  I believe male dominant/female submissive and sex within the confines of lifetime marriage are the most beneficial orderings of male-female relations.   The evidence of this is all around us —  men and women innately and automatically seek to order themselves into maledom/femsub relationships even in STRs and LTRs, even in “serial monogamy”, even outside marriage, even in fleeting sexual encounters.  Men and women yearn to order themselves in this way because the Designer designed them this way — because God ordered it and placed those desires into every human being.  Men and women ignore this fact at their extreme peril of grinding unhappiness, grief and misery.  The prime source of dissatisfaction in the SMP arises from our society’s failure to insist that men and women order themselves into the above roles; women’s refusal to submit to the men in their lives, men’s failure to insist on their wives’ and daughters’ submission; men’s failure to lead their wives; and society’s open opposition and hostility to male leadership.

I believe sluts can reform and make themselves into marriageable women.  I believe this is very difficult and most women are unable to do this, and still more are unwilling to do the necessary work.  I believe alphas can make themselves into marriageable men if they choose.  I believe most alphas choose not to marry.  I believe these things because I have faith in God’s redeeming power and ability to make all things new.  I believe God can do what humans cannot.   I believe the SMP looks the way it does because humans have screwed it up, just like they screw everything up.  I realize my beliefs in this regard put me into a minority in the Manosphere.

Though I don’t agree with all aspects of their lifestyles, and despite what I’ve said above, I have much respect for players.  With a player, what you see is what you get.   Players are up front, direct and honest about their intentions, what they want from life and the way they live their lives.   Perhaps there are elements of ambiguity in a player’s seduction methods, but no more so than women have been deploying in their mating and sexual strategies since hypergamy was released from her Pandora’s box at least 30 years or so ago.  Any woman who gets with a player gets with him because she wants to get with him — and she will have to live with whatever consequences flow from that.  Players have surveyed the landscape and taken stock of their talents and drawbacks.  They have made what I consider to be fully rational lifestyle choices, given the world they inhabit.   Players know they live in a feminine-centric society that has expressly chosen unrestrained hypergamy over patriarchy.  Players recognize they live in a world of unfettered female sexuality that assigns greater value to raw displays of masculinity and little value to marriage and lifetime coupling,  Women have been told, nay, encouraged, to do and say anything they want, with anyone they want, whenever and wherever they want, and that they will suffer absolutely no adverse consequences for it.  I can’t fault players for doing what they can to turn such a situation to their advantage, or at least learn to navigate it.   Players are putting that old military adage into operation:    Adapt.  Improvise.  Overcome.

I respect MGTOW because I believe it to be a viable, rational lifestyle choice in today’s SMP and the larger society.  They also have taken stock and made rational decisions about their lives and the world they live in.  Men’s rights activists do good work.  They are sounding the alarm in informing men about divorce and its devastating effects on men, women, children, and society.   The destruction of the family is the destruction of Western society.  These men are given hope, told they are not alone, and work to get something to live for after their money, jobs, and children are taken from them.   I don’t believe there will be a “men’s rights movement”.  Short of doing work at the margins and making small improvements in the lives of divorced fathers, men for a number of reasons won’t organize into a movement to preserve and protect male rights.  Men do not subscribe to such notions as “the personal is political”.  For men, the political is political, and the personal is personal, and never the twain shall meet.

I am not a traditionalist, or a traditional conservative.   I am not a Churchian.  I do not subscribe to the tenets of liberal Churchianity.  Modern Churchianity and tradconism have become willing tools and useful idiots for feminism, which has shot through and infected much of the old line conservative and Churchian institutions.   Those institutions wink and nod at women (including Churchian women) playing by the new rules of hookup, one-night stands, serial monogamy as the preferred, “more moral” form of promiscuity, intentional single motherhood, and “I’m not haaaappy” divorce, all with unlimited choices for women while simultaneously requiring no commitment from them.   At the same time, modern Churchianity and tradconism demand that men play by 1950s rules of securing education and lucrative employment; courtship; supplication; traditional dinner-and-a-movie dating requiring immediate displays of monetary and time investment; and ultimate commitment in the form of hitching him to the plow of a wife who neither loves nor respects him in a society that is doing everything it can to sabotage and destroy his marriage.  It encourages men to waste their money, their time and their lives in the service of ungrateful, unworthy women.    And all of it is this way because women as a group, with their white knight and mangina accomplices, want it this way; while the Churchian establishment gives its tacit cooperation in the form of heretical “theology”.

“Man up, stop playing those videogames and marry the high N over 30 woman who’s now ready to settle down after 10 or so years on the carousel” simply won’t do.   It won’t do because a growing number of men have gotten wise to the lies, are figuring out what is really going on the SMP, and have stopped listening.    If it is to survive — if indeed Western society is to survive — the North American Church must return to advocacy of patriarchy, in which men’s contributions and leadership are valued and cherished, and to which the women and children willingly submit.


11 Responses to Who is Deti?

  1. driversuz says:

    Bravo, Deti!

  2. deti says:

    Detractors will say that men in the manosphere believe there are no worthy women. Not true.

    The previous post criticizes UNWORTHY women: women who are crass, rude, vulgar, profane, abrasive, disloyal, disrespectful, flaky, selfish, self-absorbed, sexually incontinent, and deliberately unattractive.

    I believe there are worthy women. I have known some. I believe a previously unworthy woman can be made worthy.

    A worthy woman is chaste, even if she has a history of promiscuity which she has sworn off. She does not talk about her past except with men who are serious about her as a potential mate. She is sexually continent. She dresses femininely, but not provocatively — at least not in public.

    A worthy woman is kind, pleasant and agreeable. She does not nag, complain excessively or harp. She is nice to her man and others.
    A worthy woman is intelligent. She can work at a job, or run a house, or raise children, or all three. She is a capable first officer. She feels her feelings, but recognizes they do not control her or create her reality. When she forgets this, she quickly brings herself back to reality and allows her man to help bring her back.

    A worthy woman supports her man and submits herself to his leadership. She gently gets behind him but does not push once there.

    A worthy woman uses kind words and shows respect to her man at all times, publicly and privately. She does not “cop an attitude”.

    A worthy woman is feminine. She looks, acts, dresses, speaks and walks as a woman. She does not attempt to imitate the conduct, appearance or speech of men.

  3. deti says:

    On further review I would change this:

    “The prime source of dissatisfaction in the SMP arises from the fact that sex and relationships short of marriage are unsatisfying, incomplete imitations of marriage which are nearly always destined to failure.”

    to this:

    “The prime source of dissatisfaction in the SMP arises from our society’s failure to insist that men and women order themselves into the above roles; women’s refusal to submit to the men in their lives, men’s failure to insist on their wives’ and daughters’ submission; men’s failure to lead their wives; and society’s open opposition and hostility to male leadership.”

    [ Done. Updated the page to reflect the changes. ]

  4. Pip says:

    “…women’s refusal to submit to the men in their lives, men’s failure to insist on their wives’ and daughters’ submission; men’s failure to lead their wives;…”

    Submit? Really? I’m not going to be led. Why would I ever want to do this? Or allow this? It’s about choice. If two people want to arrange their union in such a way, fine. But if they want to live their lives the way I and my MGTOW partner do, for example, where we stand equal in all ways, that’s equally great. To claim that this is the only way to have a marriage – a soft form of slavery to my eyes- is utterly abhorrant to a lot of women. And they won’t do it.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      “equality” the modern American marriage is a farce.

      And tbh, us men are tired of trying to rationalize with women like you.

      The MGTOW is getting larger, not smaller. There must be a reason for it. It’s because men are simply opting out of the marriage game.

      We have WAAAAY too much to lose.

    • deti says:

      Pip: In every relationship or interaction between two people, one is dominant, the other submissive. Every relationship. SOmetimes the power balance shifts from one person to the other. Sometimes dominance is not exercised. But there is always one dominant partner and one submissive partner. All I’m saying is that a male-female sexual relationship works better when the man is dominant, the woman submissive. There are literally mountains of anecdotal and scientific evidence to support this. There are also outliers. Perhaps you are one. But your exception only proves the rule.

      Viewing marriage as slavery is why many men won’t marry. We keep hearing over and over again that women want to get married. I believe they do. While they want to get married, many of them don’t want to BE married. IOW they want weddings, but they don’t want to do the work a marriage requires.

  5. Marellus says:

    “… what this country really needs, is a good 5 Cent Cigar … ”
    Thomas Riley Marshall

  6. For some reason I only JUST came across your blog. It’s brilliant. Keep it up!!!!

  7. TamaraF says:

    This is why I prefer friendship over marriage: roles are a non-issue.

  8. Cici says:

    Be careful what you wish for. Obama would gladly use his headship to compel his daughters to become future Marxists. And it was his idea to lead Michelle to attend that “church” for 20 years, as she was not from a churchgoing background.

  9. K says:

    “Though I don’t agree with all aspects of their lifestyles, and despite what I’ve said above, I have much respect for players. With a player, what you see is what you get. Players are up front, direct and honest about their intentions, what they want from life and the way they live their lives.”


    I have been reading your comments for awhile at Dalrock’s blog. I didn’t realize you had your own blog until I found it today through a different link. I am a Christian female (of the Red Pill variety) and have been thinking a lot in recent weeks about the Manosphere and the men within it who identify as Christians. I am very conflicted about what I see – I feel I could write a novel about this subject. One thing I feel compelled to say to you (and to all my brothers in Christ in the Manosphere) is to please think about what you are saying above.

    Do you really have respect for the kind of sin that players embrace, endorse, and encourage others practice? It is sin — yours and mine, but also those of the blatantly unrepretant, of whom players are but a part — that put Jesus Christ on the cross. If your rationale is that you respect this particular group of sinners for their honesty, then what is to stop you, or any other Christian, for respecting abortionists, murderers, child-abusers, pornographers, adulterers, those who exploit others for personal and financial gain, etc — simply because with those particular sinners, often times “what you see is what you get.” There is no justification for condoning sin. Scripture is very clear on this point. I do believe the Manosphere, which presents so much truth, is succeeding in distorting the perceptions of a number of Christian men to the degree that they can no longer recognize sin, particularly sin which violates the dignity of the human person as does the culture of pornography and PUA, as anything except an abstraction. We are all susceptible to the sin of pride, and I have discerned a pattern among Christian men in the Manosphere whereby pride has clouded their ability to discern right from wrong. I won’t get into specifics, but the primary catalyst for this seems to be the keen intelligence that some Christian manosphere men have – it clouds their ability to discern right from wrong.

    There is no way that any Christian should tolerate some of the evil that is spewed at most of the secular (and some of the Christian) Manosphere blogs. Anger, loneliness, disappointment, feeling powerless – contrary to what many Christian men believe, suffering is not the dwelling places of males only. Many of your sisters in Christ have, through life circumstance, been in these places too. This is part of the mystery of suffering – which does not discriminate on the basis of gender. In order to understand this however, you must see women as fully human, as God does – equally broken and inclined toward sin and equally in need of redemption. The Manosphere does not do this, and this is a fundamental deception about human nature. The men there who identify as Christian are, in my experience, not humble. This is not pleasing to God. They are in no position to counsel or lead other men about how to lead Godly lives, no matter their cleverness or (for those who are blessed to be happily married) the “hotness” of their wife.

    I agree that many Christian churches have become useful idiots for all sorts of secular sin, including the excesses of feminism, but what you offer here, in your sympathy toward PUA is just as bad as what you condemn. The only answer is the Gospel, which most Manosphere Christians have conveniently ignored, or twisted into a pretzel to fit their own agenda. We are defined as Christians not only by what we believe but by our actions. Causing scandal by condoning sin when it should be condemned without compromise is a form of action.

    I realize you may very well respond with a string of expletives, as is de rigeur in the Manosphere for anyone who tries to question its foundations. If one of your secular (atheist or agnostic) Manosphere readers sees this he will probably call me a bitch or a harpy. You will likely feel justified and grateful to your “brother”, and will see me as the same as he does, instead of as your sister in Christ. THIS is the contradiction I what you to think about.

    Your posts, unlike some of the other Christian men, have an undercurrent of gentleness to them which I perceive and it is that which has moved me to write this to you. There is so much good that men like you, who see the truths portrayed in the Manosphere, could do if you had the courage of your convictions with respect to the Triune God you claim to believe in. Real Christian faith is lived out, every day, in fear and trembling. I write these things to you respectfully.

    K, this isn’t Deti’s blog. The About page explains it better.

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